Just Don’t Care

One of the things I wanted to do this year was blog much more to help put my thoughts down about the game and also about life in general as well. As Jared Tendler said in one of his videos, it's great to writie things down to clear and reset your mind and I find that to be very true.

First off I wanted to spend as much time on my poker game as possible in 2011 and I think I've done very well so far in January. I've been putting in the hands and also a fair amount of study time, and I hope to slowly increase my playing and studying of the game as the year progresses. I've been playing pretty well for the most part and I'm pleased with my decisions so for right now that's all I can really hope for.

One issue in life that certainly crosses over into poker is the topic of not caring. Typically not caring is taken in a negative sense and typically means that we don't really give it our all or make our best effort. But in this sense I'm talking about how not caring can be something postitive in your life. The first major one comes to my mind is not caring what other people think, in general. I'm not talking about blowing off good advice by a friend or family member. But recently I had a friend new to poker tell me that he won't post hands on a well known poker forum because he fears that some of his "dumb" plays will be laughed at by some people. I simply told him that you just have to not care what those people think, but it is easy to say and hard to do. He is stunting his growth as a new poker player and not getting qualtiy feedback because he is worried what others will think of him.

This got me thinking about this subject all throughout my own life. How often do I care what other people's opinions are of me? I'd like to say never, but to be honest I know I care way too much at times as to what other people think of me as a person, as a co-worker, as a poker player, etc. It really doesn't matter at all. I believe it was Abraham Maslow that said that we need to operate independently of the good opinions of others in life, simply meaning that we need to do what we want to do and in the end, not care at all what others think.

I think this can also fall into poker as far as results. Lately I've become much better at focusing on the only thing that matters and that is making good decisions. In the past I would way overly concern myself with outcomes of hands, cards I was being dealt, cards others were being dealt, etc. All these things I have no control over but I wasted a lot of energy worrying about them. Worrying about things you can't change, whether it be an outcome of a poker hand or what someone else's opinon of you may be, is a major energy leak in life. If I could simply eliminate this leak from my life entirely, I would be a much better person for it. So I'm working on it, trying to free myself from any concerns as to what people think, as if you have a room full of 100 people, you will have 100 different opinions about yourself and your life, and you can't do a damn thing about one of them.

So next time you sit at a poker table or at a table in a board room at work, just be yourself, do your best, and live your life on your own terms not caring about what other people may think about that. Try to take things moment by moment and realize when you are worrying or concerning yourself with things that you cannot change, and then just let go of those worries and emotions. Just learn how to "not care." This will free up so much more energy and concentration so that you can focus on the more important things in life, like the only thing you can control, your own behavior. This is one of those things that if you can master it in life, you will be so much better off all the way around, and you will be so much more of a focused, relaxed, and overall better poker player as well. I'm working on it day by day and I wish you all of the best with it too. So the next time you get it in with KK against the maniac who just happens to wake up with Aces this time, don't care about it one bit and move onto the next hand. It's the only way to live. Good luck at the tables.